I’ve Been Single for 10 Years Because I Want to Live on a Sailboat. Here’s Why Dating as a Sailor Is So Hard.

(This is a guest post by Fredrik, a Swedish sailor and the founder of SailorLove.)

Finding love is complicated enough. But what happens when your dream life involves a sailboat, changing horizons, and no fixed address?

I’m 38, Swedish, and I grew up with sailing and the sea always somewhere in the background of my life. Over the years, sailing has become one of my greatest passions. I haven’t sailed full-time, but it has always been an important part of who I am and how I want to spend my free time.

For me, sailing is about freedom, adventure, and living life on your own terms. It’s waking up somewhere new, setting a course for a place you’ve never been, and knowing the world is bigger than the place you call home.

It’s also something I want to share with someone.

I’ve spent roughly ten years of my adult life single and have been on quite a few dates. I’ve met interesting people, but it has been hard to meet someone who feels the same way about sailing as I do. For some people, it’s a fun vacation activity. For me, it’s a passion that shapes how I want to spend my time and the life I dream of building.

A relationship doesn’t require two people to love exactly the same things. But when something is a big part of your life, you hope to meet someone who understands it and shares at least some of the enthusiasm. So I started to wonder: how do you find someone who doesn’t just think sailing sounds romantic, but actually understands why it matters to you?

It’s about more than finding someone who likes boats

You don’t need a partner who has crossed an ocean or knows how to read a chartplotter. They don’t even need to own a boat. What matters is whether they’re genuinely curious about the lifestyle and open to where it can lead.

Some people dream of crossing the Atlantic. Others want to cruise the Mediterranean, live aboard, or simply spend their summers on the water. Some are experienced sailors, some are beginners, and some haven’t started yet but can’t stop dreaming about it. There isn’t one right way to be a sailor. The challenge is finding someone whose idea of a good life fits reasonably well with yours.

Imagine meeting someone wonderful, only to discover they never want to leave the city while you dream of exploring the world by boat. Neither of you is wrong, but attraction alone might not be enough when your long-term dreams point in different directions.

The challenges of dating when you sail

Distance is relative. Traditional dating assumes two people live in the same city, or at least within driving distance. Sailors don’t always fit that model. For people who live aboard, a second date can be a country away: Greece this month, Spain the next.

Plans change. Weather, repairs and unexpected costs move departures and stretch a planned stop into a longer stay. Even if you don’t sail full-time, the dream of long stretches on the water shapes the future you want.

Not everyone understands the dream. Living on a boat sounds romantic on vacation. Living aboard full-time is another matter: cramped spaces, maintenance jobs, uncomfortable weather, and days when nothing goes as planned. You need someone who knows the sailing life isn’t always a postcard, and who still loves the quiet nights at anchor and the excitement of a new harbor.

You can build a relationship with someone who doesn’t sail, of course. But if sailing is central to your future, it makes sense to look for someone who respects and shares that ambition.

Where do you meet people who want the same life?

Sailing clubs, marinas, regattas and cruising communities are excellent places to meet people with similar interests. But meeting another sailor isn’t the same as finding a romantic match. You can spend a whole season meeting interesting people without finding anyone who is single, compatible, and looking for the same kind of relationship.

Dating apps can help, but general apps don’t make it easy to say what the sailing life means to you. You can mention sailing in your profile, but will the other person understand that you want to spend months aboard? After years of dating and thinking about this, I saw a gap: there was room for a dating app built around the sailing community.

Why I built SailorLove

I’m not writing this as someone who has figured out dating. I’m a sailor who saw a gap and decided to do something about it. Last summer, I built SailorLove, a dating app for sailors and people who dream of the sailing life.

The idea is simple: what if you could meet people who already understand why sailing matters to you? On SailorLove, you describe your sailing lifestyle, where you sail, and the future you imagine. You can find people in your current sailing region or browse profiles from other parts of the world.

Two people don’t have to be in the same harbor today to have something in common. Maybe you’re both planning next summer in the Mediterranean. Maybe one of you lives aboard and the other is getting ready to buy a boat. The app is for experienced sailors, beginners, liveaboards, cruisers, and people still dreaming about getting started. You don’t need to be an expert or own a boat to belong.

SailorLove is a web app, so it works on a phone, tablet or computer without a download from an app store. So far, almost 100 sailors have completed their profiles, from sailing areas all over the world. It’s still early, and every new person who joins brings the idea a little closer to reality.

Curious to meet sailors who share your dreams? Explore SailorLove.

You don’t have to find a sailing partner to start sailing

Don’t put your dreams on hold while you wait for the right person. If you want to learn to sail, take a course. If you dream of living aboard, start researching what it takes. If you want to cross an ocean someday, start building your experience. A partner can make those adventures more meaningful, but they don’t have to be the starting point.

Shared interests are a wonderful foundation, but compatibility is about much more than sailing. Values, communication, trust, and how you handle the hard moments still matter. The goal isn’t just to find someone who will step onto your boat. It’s to find someone you want to share the journey with.

Keep an open mind about where love might be

Sailing changes your relationship with distance. You start to think in coastlines, seasons and passages instead of zip codes. Maybe the same mindset can help with dating. The person who shares your dream might not live around the corner. They might already be cruising another part of the world, getting ready for their first sailing trip, or still wondering whether life at sea is for them.

For me, SailorLove is an attempt to make those connections a little easier. It’s built on a simple belief: people who share a passion for the sea should have a better way to find each other. Maybe the next great sailing adventure won’t begin with a destination on a chart, but with a conversation between two people who realize they want the same kind of life.

Ready to meet someone who shares your love for the sea? Join SailorLove here.

Fair winds, and good luck finding your person.